Why bangs are more deceptive than Photoshop

An analysis on how the curtain cut has misled the public for decades

With apps such as Facetune and Photoshop rising in popularity, there has been a sharp resistance from some who believe it’s unethical and misleading. However, I’ve yet to see the same level of hostility toward individuals with bangs. I have both used Photoshop and sported bangs, and I can confidently say that bangs are the more deceptive of the two. 

I implore you to close your eyes and visualize a friend of yours that has bangs, then ask yourself: “When was the last time I saw their full forehead?” If you’re like me, the answer is probably next to never. 

I remember the one and only time I saw my banged friend’s forehead; it was shocking. We had just finished going for a run when she brushed her wrist across her face to wipe away the sweat. For a fleeting second, I saw a surface so large that it could have been the dining table in The Last Supper. 

The sight was appalling, it was horrifying, it was…eye opening. You mean to tell me that Becky has been hiding that honkin’ noggin’ behind those blonde highlights? I started growing my hair out the following day.

A couple years after I discovered the power of the bang, I was enlightened by the power of Photoshop. It was admittedly a far less startling experience. While my friend Madison and I sat in my car, she was texting a man on Snapchat. He sent the usual "What do you look like?” text to which she turned to me and said, “Want to see something crazy?”

Of course, I nodded in the affirmative, eager to see what craziness she had in store for me. She swiped out of Snapchat and into an app called Photoshop. She then uploaded an image of her in a bikini, and what happened next was astonishing. She began to pinch her fingers together where her waist was on the screen– and her waist moved!

I had never seen anything like this before. With a quick drag of a finger, she made her waist go from 35 inches to just under 6! I immediately downloaded the app and got to work. However, I quickly realized that there was only so big you could stretch out your biceps before it was noticeable that my body may have undergone some post-production alterations.

This brings me back to bangs. There is no extent to which you can go too far with bangs. I have seen people on social media swipe their luscious locks back to reveal several acres of fertile farmland. As a not-so-proud member of the 4-and-a-half-head club, I can confirm that a nice set of bangs can make even the largest of domes seem normal-sized.

So, next time you see someone with bangs, just know that they are lying straight to your face. No amount of filters can compare to those thick curtains of hair that hide the truth.